Kari Dermer, AuD, CPC
Co-Founder and Coach, dB Coaching Group
Most people believe that to be a leader, you must be assigned that title by someone else—or that you need a long list of accolades and fancy credentials. When picturing a leader, you might think of a chief executive officer (CEO), a director, or someone sitting in a corner office. Sure, that’s one form of leadership, but most leadership moments happen in everyday interactions often fostered by informal leaders whose job titles lack any mention of the word “leader” or its forms.
Although the experience I’m about to share took place a long time ago, I will never forget the lessons I learned.
It was during a college volleyball game at Indiana University; we were playing one of our biggest rivals, Purdue University. We were down by 10 points; the game was slipping away from us. The faces of my teammates already carried the weight of what could come: lots of disappointment and a long, silent bus ride home.
My teammate, Emily, suddenly jumped up from the bench and yelled, “Let’s go! Dig deep; we’re still in this!” Emily wasn’t a captain, she was relatively quiet, and she barely played that season. But, throughout the rest of the match, she clapped. She cheered. She even started doing this silly dance from her seat on the bench—a dance that her teammates also began doing from their seats on that same bench. On that night, from the sidelines, Emily led—and we came back to win.
I’m sure we can all think of an “Emily” in our lives—someone who led not because of a title formally bestowed upon them but because they chose to step up in the moment.
It's stories like this that highlight a common misconception—that, to be a leader, you must have a fancy title or be appointed by someone else. This is not the case: Often, the most influential people in our lives are those whose job titles lack the word “leader” but whose influence far surpasses what a mere six-letter word can convey. The biggest lessons of our lives can come at unexpected times and from various places.
As John C. Maxwell (1998) puts it, “Leadership is influence—nothing more, nothing less.”
If leadership is simply “influence,” doesn’t that mean everyone can be a leader? We’re all influencing something or someone—whether that’s a team, a patient’s care, our families, or even our colleagues in the breakroom.
Your influence (or leadership) shows up in so many ways:
Think about someone in your career who has positively influenced you: What did they do or say that made an impact? Maybe it was an office manager who took the time to listen or a colleague who modeled calm in a crisis.
On the flip side, who has negatively influenced your career? What did they do or say that impacted you negatively? Those experiences matter, too, because they remind us that our influence isn’t neutral. Your actions have the potential to build someone up or tear them down. You may not carry the title of “manager” or “owner,” but the way you show up has a lasting impact on others.
We all know that negative influence can come from anywhere. I am here to tell you; positive influence can, too.
Informal leadership is crucial for teams. It’s often the informal leaders—those with no official titles—who shape the day-to-day culture of an organization.
I recently worked with a client who was mid-career with no formal leadership title. She told me, “When I stay calm during times of change in my office, I notice that my colleagues also remain calmer.” That is informal leadership in action. Her colleagues are looking at her as a temperature check so they can adjust their own reactions accordingly.
Research on leadership dynamics also shows that it isn’t always the person with formal authority who makes the biggest difference: Often, it’s the first person who follows. Without that first follower, a lone leader is just a lone voice. Derek Sivers explains this in his 2010 TED Talk, where he states that traditional leadership is over-glorified and that it’s the first follower who makes the biggest impact. It takes courage and confidence to follow. It can be easy to fall into the trap of thinking that everyone needs to be a “leader” in the traditional sense. But if everyone is leading, then no one is leading—thus, the team fails to exist. Teams need traditional leaders, yes, but they also need courageous followers who model what it looks like to step in and bring others along.
Here’s what informal leadership might look like in your career:
You might be thinking, “This all sounds great, but I’m introverted and pretty quiet. How does this apply to me?” Well, good news! You don’t need to be the loudest voice in the room to lead. In fact, introverted individuals often bring strengths that are more valuable than you might realize.
Research continues to challenge the assumption that extroverts make better leaders (Kahnweiler, 2018). An article published in Harvard Business Review showed that introverts can be more effective in complex, unpredictable settings (Grant et al., 2010). Those with introverted personalities are uniquely equipped to listen deeply, reflect, and guide others in ways that extroverts sometimes can’t. If you’re an introvert, continue to show up authentically—and lean into your unique strengths.
Like any other part of your career, you can grow your ability to be a more influential and effective informal leader. Here are four ways to build those skills:
Leadership isn’t about being the loudest in the room.
It’s not about being the one with the title or the person with all the answers.
Leadership shows up in the small, consistent actions that shape how others show up as well. Everyone is leading something—formally or informally. The question isn’t “Are you a leader or not?” but, rather, “What kind of leader do you choose to be?”
Whether you notice it or not, you’re influencing people every day—it’s not just those on social media with millions of followers.
Leadership is influence. Be influential.
For more information on this and related topics, see the following resources from ASHA’s Career Portal:
For more information on a unique leadership opportunity from ASHA, check out this webpage on the ASHA Leadership Academy.
Grant, A. M., Gino, F., & Hofmann, D. A. (2010, December). The hidden advantages of quiet bosses. Harvard Business Review, 88(12), 28. https://hbr.org/2010/12/the-hidden-advantages-of-quiet-bosses
Kahnweiler, J. B. (2025). The introverted leader: Building on your quiet strength (3rd ed.). Berrett-Koehler. The Introverted Leader 3rd Edition - Jennifer Kahnweiler
Maxwell, J. C. (1998). The 21 irrefutable laws of leadership: Follow them and people will follow you. Thomas Nelson.
Sivers, D. (2010, February). How to start a movement [Video]. TED Conferences. https://www.ted.com/talks/derek_sivers_how_to_start_a_movement
Kari Dermer, AuD, CPC, is a certified career and leadership coach and co-owner of dB Coaching Group—where she supports audiologists and speech-language pathologists as they build meaningful careers without sacrificing their well-being. She brings more than 15 years of experience in leadership, mentorship, and coaching to the communication sciences and disorders community.